The Commercialization of Iman

Every weekend we take Iman out to eat, and let her choose where she wants to go. Her choices range from picnics in the park, to pancakes, and then sometimes, junk food. Although I’m not fanatic about healthy eating, I do make sure my children are getting a balanced diet. So occasionally, when she asks for fried chicken or a burger, I let get indulge.

Today we were at the mall. After running some errands we landed at the food court. I gave Iman the liberty to choose dinner. So she looked around, kind of weighing out her options. Then she said… I’ll have KFC. Ummm… no wait, McDonalds”.

When I asked her why, she replied… “They have a new Hello Kitty toy.”

Welcome to the world of comercialization. It’s no longer about the food, but instead all about the selling gimics.

Some arguments we wish they’d never win…

Believe it or not, something quite similar to this happened with Iman and a friend at school…

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Parenting Ayzah has been so much more relaxing then I expected. There’s just so much familiarityin everything, that I feel like I’ve been doing this all my life. But it’s really amusing for me when Ayzah buds out of the norm and does something that’s just “her“.

For the most part, I’ve been re-doing everything I did with Iman. Same songs, same games, same routine and same foods introduced at fairly the same time. So today, I made Ayzah dinner, something that Iman reallyloved. In fact, Iman rarely ate well, but she would always finish a bowl of this goop. It’s simple, boil a potato, mash it, mix it with yogurt, some chicken stock and a pinch of pepper and some cheese. Simple, but really yummy (Omair and I would have to fight for the leftovers). When I made the goop today, it tasted as good as it did before, but when I gave it to Ayzah, well…

First she scrunched up her face, I naturally assumed it’s the yogurt, you have to take to it. But then by the third and fourth bite it was getting pretty clear that this wasn’t Ayzah’s thing. Now the entire time, I kept talking to her, telling her that this was Iman’s favorite food. But no, Ayzah was adamant that she wasn’t going to eat this. She was gagging on every bite, until we got to the fifth, where she just threw up! Ok, so she made her point.

As I was clearing up, Iman walked into the kitchen and asked me…

“What’s Ayzah eating?” (I showed her the bowl) and she said…

“Can I have a bite?” (so I gave her a spoon full) and she said…

“This is really yum, can I just have this for dinner?”

Ha! Well I guess some things can’t be loved and on the other hand, some things never change!

Hahahahhaaa… SO TRUE!

All credit goes to Babycenter.com for adding humor to our lives every week

Taking the Blame

Why is it that moms ALWAYS want to blame themselves for all the wrong or bad things that happen with their kids. Whether it’s a skipped meal or a scraped knee. An overlooked medical condition, or the “extra” attention you could have given. It could be a tummy ache or a headache. An urgent need to go to the bathroom or a diaper rash…

Virtually anything can alter from its norm, and as a mom, we tend to jump right into the dirt to find our own mistake…

Maybe she didn’t like the food I had made, I should have given her something else. I knew we were going to the park, I should have put her in long pants to she wouldn’t have hurt herself from falling. I wasn’t paying attention, this was so obvious I should have caught it a long time ago. I shouldn’t have talked to my friend on the phone for 20 minutes, I could have spent that time playing with the kids. What did I feed her? Was it something bad? Did I let her play in the sun too long? Why didn’t I take her before we left the house? I should have changed that diaper sooner!

Really… for all the hard work that we do, we need to stop blaming ourselves every time something goes wrong.

Tight Spot

Iman: Mommy I love you.

Me: Awww thanks sweetie, I love you too!

Iman: Mommy you know you’re my best mommy.

Me: That’s good to hear, I’m glad that I’m your best mommy.

Iman: But you know you’re also the best in the whole world.

Me: Thanks baby, you’re such a super girl, and all super kids have super duper moms.

Iman: Mommy I really love you… also you’re my most favorite mom. Am I your most favorite daughter?

Me: Erm… aaah… hmmm… uhhh… You’re my most favorite big daughter!

The Babycenter Groupie that I am…

Every now and again I’ll start a conversation with Omair saying… “Babycenter says…”

Babycenter has been like a guiding light for us. Since my pregnancy with Iman we’ve been registered with them and reading up every step of the way. Living away from family has denied us the opportunity to have someone prepare us for what lies ahead. But I’ve never felt lost or confused. In fact, if anything, I feel more prepared and more aware. Having the unending support and advice from the experts has given us valuable insight on this magnanimous project of child raising.

After working really really hard, we’ve managed to sleep train Ayzah. But although the rule says that she needs to sleep on her own through the night without feedings, we’ve come to realize that our little one needs to be fed twice. Once at 11:30 and once at 5:30. With that done, she’s sleeping on her own through the night, because we’re giving her the bottle before she wakes up crying for it.

Me: Babycenter says that this is the best time for Ayzah to give up her bottle and switch to a sippy cup.

Omair: So how are we going to give her milk?

Me: Through her sippy cup. She’ll learn.

Omair: When she’s awake that’s fine, but what about her night feedings, she can’t manage the sippy cup while sleeping. What does Babycenter say about that?

Me: Well, actually they say that kids should be off night feedings by now. So technically we shouldn’t even be giving her the bottle in the night. We should have taught her to sleep on her own without it.

Omair: Babycenter should have its own kids or they should come and raise ours.

Ayzah boasts a toothy smile – FINALLY!!

Ayzah’s been our chilled out child. She’s taken her time to start rolling, she sat up long after 8 months, didn’t crawl until lately and just started standing up (with support). We’ve been enjoying her “baby-ness”. Loving each stage for as long as we could. I think when you’re parents first time around you can’t wait for things to happen, but the most significant thing of round 2 is that we’re really taking our time to cherish every phase of Ayzah’s life, and believe me, she’s giving us plenty time to enjoy it.

 One of the things I really missed with Iman was her gummy toothless smile. She started smiling in response at around 4 months and then had teeth at 5 months. As much as I loved that full open mouth toothless smile, I never got to enjoy it (let alone take enough pictures). So this time with Ayzah, I made it a point to take lots of pictures right at the start of her social smile. And I kept taking these pictures, assuming that in a couple of weeks she’d pop a tooth and never be the same again.

But no, this is Ayzah, and she likes to take her time. So I waited, and waited and waited. At the sight of fever or runny nose I checked her gums for teeth. She’d be fussy one day, and the next morning I would check again. She’d go on hunger strike, I’d check again, she’d bite and gnaw, I’d check again. And this kept going on and on and on, until one day I just decided to give up. Teeth will come when they’re good and ready.

But then came the mommy brigade. EVERYONE (including the blog mommy’s) boasted of pearly whites. Their kids (some younger than mine) had one… two… now FOUR teeth. But our little Ayzah still sat there… wide eyed, gummy smile.

My waiting grew into impatience as I started to check websites for late teethers. I even pressed against her gums to make sure the tooth buds were there. After months of anxious waiting… today… she finally got her first tooth!! It’s not really all the visible, but its broken ground and you can see the little white cap in her gum. Awwwwww – the tiny tike has a tooth.

But now I miss her gummy toothless smile!

Who would have thought?

Since the move we’ve noticed Iman has been having problems with her eyes. On certain occasions we’ve seen her blinking rapidly and then at other times we’ve seen her straining her eyes. Our obvious concern was her eye sight, so I did a lot of home testing. I asked her to identify letters and numbers at a distance. Held up fingers and asked her to count. And at times, just asked her if she could see clearly. After getting no concrete evidence of visions problems, I decided to schedule a visit to the ophthalmologist.

At the appointment we were asked some basic questions, then we went on to eye testing. Iman was given a thorough once overf or her eyes. Thanks to computerized testing and instant results, we were told that her vision was perfect (thank God!). Then the doctor went on to tell us that Iman has a very common problem – there’s nothing wrong with her eyes, she’s just doing it to seek attention.

Earth shattering - it felt like she’d punched me in the gut several times and then kicked me in the stomach.

For this perfectly educated doctor, sitting amongst her fancy gadgets with her thorough investigation and concrete results, it was easy to say that my daughter isn’t getting enough attention. She even went on to say that she sees almost 5-6 patients this age every month. Each of them with a new sibling or significant life changing event (moving!). Excessive blinking is a child’s common response to neglect. – I thanked her for her diagnosis.

Walking out of that office I was relieved that Iman was ok, but I had tears welling in my eyes. I have worked so hard at being a great mom. Not just your average “I take care of my children and provide for their basic needs” kind of mom, but “a really hard working, fun playing, silly, giggly, fun” kind of mom. Since Ayzah’s birth I’ve done my best to make us a family. I involve Iman in everything I do for the little one. I encourage her to help and applaud her participation, I listen to her when she talks, not just by nodding, but really listening, and engaging her in conversation. I read to her, I hug her, I pretend-play with her, I tickle her, but most of all, I love her.

I love her so much that maybe she might never know. And now my heart hurts because a doctor thinks that my Iman isn’t given as much attention as she deserves.

Tracing the Roots

I’ve always been a historian at heart. I love listening to my grandmother account for ages of her life. People and places vivid imagery, anything that can paint a picture into our pasts. History, as we know it, is the account of another person’s existence. It’s hard not to get curious and want to know more.

 I’ve spent several days now, trying to come up with a direct family lineage. Some connection from my genealogy to the pages of world history. So far no luck. Maybe I don’t understand how to use all this technology to the best of my advantage, or the “Mirza” family really doesn’t have a recorded past. In any case, I can’t help but wonder, who were my ancestors? What did they do for a living? What were there lives like? And perhaps a million other questions detailing their existence. I wish there was a way to visit our past. I would love to go back in time and step into so many lives, just to see where I come from.

Lucky for the girls, Omair’s family has complete records and official websites to document proof of their lineage. The Zuberi’s take a lot of pride in family history, so just in case Iman and Ayzah ever take a stroll down this road, at least half of their family will have historical evidence which they can explore.