Archive for August, 2007

Cheating on our Pediatrician

Finding the right doctor for the kids has been one of the most challenging things this past year. Iman’s old pediatrician was situated on the other side of town, and wasn’t really working for us in times of emergency, not to mention, he refused to take phone calls. So when we were acquainted to Dr. Malini who worked at the hospital near our house, it was perfect! She immediately won my heart, and cleared my stringent check list.

Things progressed well. When Ayzah was born at the same hospital, Dr. Malini was the first to see her. I was happy that the kids were in good hands. BUT… then she packed up and left. Damn.

Since I was really happy with the hospital, I took the kids to another pediatrician who worked there – Dr. Jalil. Not really my kind of guy, but he knew his stuff. I like doctors who chat with us, remember my kids names and win the children’s hearts. He didn’t have any of that, but we still stuck with him because Omair felt that his experience spoke for itself.

Then, we met Dr. Deepali. Same hospital, but a whole different personality. She was warm and friendly. On one of the appointments she gave Iman a pen and paper to draw with while she spoke to us. She was concerned about both girls, and even though we had gone in to show Ayzah, she dealt with a lot of our questions regarding Iman.

I was sold. But then there was the problem of switching doctors at the same hospital, without feeling weird about it.

Yesterday Ayzah was due for a vaccination. When we walked into the reception, Dr. Jalil was making his way to the cafeteria (which, by the way, is where he spends most of his time). So I ducked to the water cooler. Then while we were sitting in the waiting room, he made his way back. So again, I tried to hide the entire family behind a newspaper. When our turn was called, I made sure we all quietly entered the office (since both pediatric clinics are side by side).

On our way home, Omair asked why I put on the whole show, and I said:
“Well if we’re going to cheat on our pediatrician, the least we can do is be discrete about it.”

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August 31, 2007 at 11:12 am 5 comments

And she’s off!

Yesterday Ayzah managed to turn by herself. PLOP! From back to front. And then she started crying because she didn’t know what to do. We all wanted to capture the moment, the camera’s were pulled out, all eyes were on her… the excitement, the cheering, the wild waving of toys to get her to roll again… but no avail.

Ayzah was happier to watch us three acting like monkeys. She looked back and forth from one to the other grinning her toothless smile. But no turn. Slowly the camera batteries started to give way… and no turn. Our enthusiasm started fading… still no turn. And then finally… when we thought there would be no more action from Ayzah, she did it again!!

We managed to make the video, all though Iman kept popping her head in front of the camera with comments (and some times just funny faces).

So it’s over. She’s no longer a “sit still” “leave alone” baby. We’ve got to start keeping and eye on her too.

The funny thing is that today, it takes her one second to turn. The novelty has worn off a little, because every time she turns, she lifts her head and starts crying. Hmmm… maybe it’s time to teach Iman how to turn the baby over.

August 28, 2007 at 2:55 pm 2 comments

The Reality of Imaginary Friends

As Iman’s imagination soars, she’s managed to create an imaginary friend for herself. I used think that lonely kids — ignored kids, were target to creating fictional people in their minds. It was their support mechanism through their childhood. Kind of like companionship where there was no on else to turn to. But I guess that’s a theory in the past. Iman has plenty of friends and lots of time with her parents and sister. I don’t think her new “friend” is a creation due to neglect, but in fact this is a mixture of her imagination and her subconscious.

However, as fictional as she may be, she’s quite a reality in our lives. Let me introduce you to Anasha, Iman’s first imaginary friend.

This little girl is apparently Iman’s new “best friend”, and quite often, her voice of reason. As real as she is for Iman, she’s really never around. Whenever I ask Iman Anasha’s whereabouts, she always tells me that “she’s on her way”. But in any situation, Iman will have some form of input from her new friend Anasha.

When we asked Iman about Anasha’s family, it was quite coincidental that Anasha had a daddy who was always at work. A mommy who stayed home to look after her little sister, and a baby sister who was just as old as Ayzah. Hmmmmm…

As we get to venture into this new phase of Iman’s, we have to decide what path to follow… I don’t want to encourage Iman to befriend fictitious people, but for now, I don’t think I want to meddle in this affair. Maybe Anasha will be short lived, maybe not, but for now, she’s here and we’re going to have to get used to it.

August 26, 2007 at 3:16 pm 1 comment

Love, Life and the Pursuit of Glamour

Long before I had Iman, long, long before I had even thought about having kids, I had promised myself one thing… no matter how demanding motherhood would be, I would never turn into one of those women who let their kids “take over” their personal appearance.

Ok, so I can’t avoid the spit ups and the chocolate stains. I can’t even avoid the rumpled “slept in” look on my clothes. But I can certainly keep a good haircut and look glamorous, despite the 3 year year old and the baby in tow.

Some days as I apply mascara while bouncing Ayzah in the other hand, I wonder if God meant for moms to look scruffy. But then I guess not. Moms have a lot of responsibility and a lot on their hands. If we can do something for ourselves, we should be proud, and happy to see a reflection of our old selves in our new roles.

August 23, 2007 at 12:45 pm 4 comments

The right way, the wrong way, the Iman way and the Ayzah way…

There is the right way of doing things with kids and there is a wrong way. Then there is the way that we went while raising Iman, and now, a new path that we have chosen with Ayzah.

As our first born, Iman has suffered a lot of our “mistakes”. Some things we did out of love for her, and some things we did because we weren’t too sure of ourselves. But now, when I look back, I feel I could have handled certain things better. And then God gave us a do-over in form of Ayzah.

Now we have all the experience of Iman, and a brand new baby to do things right with. We’re watching our steps more carefully and making sure we don’t make the same mistakes that we did the last time. But as amusing as it may be, we’re making new mistakes!

The lucky thing is that parenting is an on going process, and most mistakes can be fixed or outgrown. But there’s one lesson that we’ve learned by heart… there’s no way we can be perfect parents.

August 20, 2007 at 10:22 pm 8 comments

Almost there

Ayzah has been shifting and moving a lot over the past few days. Yesterday she managed to get a “half roll” in there. I thought I was excited, but Iman was even more overjoyed. I think for the first time she realized that Ayzah would grow up and eventually become a kid, and in time, someone she can play with.

August 15, 2007 at 10:37 pm 3 comments

Nurturing the Competitive Streak

We all know not to do it. And we all swear that we wouldn’t dare. But on that one day, where you make the mistake, it makes life SO much more easier… and then you discover that you’re hooked.

Trying to get Iman to do anything these days is a task and a half. Every day feels like a new battle, and somehow my cute little “yes mommy” baby has turned into the “I don’t want” monster.

But one fine day (totally accidentally) we discovered the key to make Iman go. Not only does she listen to us, she does it willingly and with lots of excitement.

We’ve tapped into her competitive streak.

Now, previously dreadful tasks are fun and full of life. All we have to say is “Let’s see who’s going to win… Iman or __________?” And Iman is off.

Getting ready for bed used to be painstakingly difficult in our house. Every night there would be a struggle to get Iman into the bathroom, wash up, brush her teeth and get into her pajamas. We would try whatever we could to make it pleasant, but in a matter of minutes the whole thing would turn into a wild circus with Iman adamantly refusing.

Now the entire procedure is simple and problem free. In fact, it’s even fun. After we tell Iman it’s time for bed, we add on… “Let’s see who’s going to win today! Iman or Ayzah?” Omair and I take one child each and start the bed-time process. It’s become a lot of fun. And secretly I even enjoy it. After the whole wildness of getting ready… we all cozy on the couch together for bedtime stories.

I know we’re treading on dangerous waters. Children become obsessed with competition when simple tasks are turned into races. Winning become a necessity and it becomes increasingly difficult to handle losing. I don’t want to turn Iman into one of those kids who just HAS to compete in everything. But believe me… these past few days have been so easy. Getting her to do things has become enjoyable, so I think I’ll let my guilt take a side for a few more days while I enjoy a vacation from this “I don’t want” attitude.

August 12, 2007 at 11:07 am 1 comment

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